Hawkeye and Trapper, with Radar’s help, invent a fictitious Capt. Tuttle so that his salary can be donated to help a local orphanage. Almost caught by James B. Sikking of Hill St. and Doogie Howser fame, Hawkeye must sorrowfully tell the camp of Tuttle’s fate to the whole camp–he leaped from a chopper without a parachute.

Listening to a report, the Czar mistakes parootchiki je (“the lieutenants, howeverâ€Â?) for Parootchik Kijé “Lieutenant Kijé,” and asked about the fellow.

No one at the court was bold enough to tell the Czar he had made an error; instead the terrified administrators improvised, then hastily forged a paper trail of the mythical officer’s life and career.

The plan worked so well it backfires; the Czar wanted to meet his dashing soldier, but the administrators resolved their problem by killing off the fictional Kijé.

Or so the story goes.