Democrats Vow Not To Give Up Hopelessness
By Justin Gardner | Related entries in Comedy, General Politics
Breaking news from The Onion:
WASHINGTON, DCâ€â€?In a press conference on the steps of the Capitol Monday, Congressional Democrats announced that, despite the scandals plaguing the Republican Party and widespread calls for change in Washington, their party will remain true to its hopeless direction.“We are entirely capable of bungling this opportunity to regain control of the House and Senate and the trust of the American people,” Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said to scattered applause. “It will take some doing, but we’re in this for the long and pointless haul.”
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi reaffirms the Democratic Party’s promise to remain marginalized.
“We can lose this,” Reid added. “All it takes is a little lack of backbone.”
Despite plummeting poll numbers for the G.O.P nationwide and an upcoming election in which all House seats and 33 Senate seats are up for contention, Democrats pledged to maintain their party’s sheepish resignation.
If only this were satire…
Also, Are Your Cats Old Enough To Learn About Jesus? Well, are they?
This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 1st, 2006 and is filed under Comedy, General Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
March 1st, 2006 at 4:45 pm
As funny as I find this, that HAS to be a doctored photo and a satirical story.
I mean come on… it just… not even the Democrats would… zuh?
Given the content of the site its obviously a joke, but its just believable enough to make you think.
March 1st, 2006 at 4:50 pm
Well it is from The Onion.
March 1st, 2006 at 4:55 pm
This article about cats learning about Jesus is provably false. I already baptized them, just as the article prescribed - by filling my bathtub with water, asking them if they rejected Satan and then thrusting them completely under the water. They then TOTALLY freaked out - I mean - they hissed and spit and howled like the little girl in The Exorcist. Maybe they were possessed, and the baptism worked as an actual exorcism. I just don’t understand . . .
And, really, the Dem thing is funny and not funny at the same time because it’s so true . . . so sad.
March 1st, 2006 at 5:17 pm
Good call Brian. First time to the big city is it?
March 2nd, 2006 at 1:46 am
very funny, very true.
March 2nd, 2006 at 3:23 pm
Meredith,
Thanks for the advice. I had the bathtub all ready to go, but I suppose Elaine Kirk McKitterson will have to fend for herself in the afterlife. I will continue, however, to allow her to drink from my nightly glass of “the blood of christ” when I’m not looking….It’s the least I can do…