Don’t think you are fooling me, I know who you are. Kreiz, Christ…come one, a little more imagination please!

I thought Donklephant was celebrating D-day yesterday…my day…it does begin with a “D” you know!

Meredith,

I’m satanically elated that you had a great day. Keep up the good work! About the movie, sorry kiddo it wasn’t one of ours that made it, that’s just Hollywood’s (or should I say Holy Wood) way of discreting all of my great work, damn liberal commie pinkos!

Quail hunting was fun, Dick and I weren’t able to shoot any lawyers though. Oh, well, there’s always next time. You know, they are the most verstile of species. I mean, you can use them to get out of jail, sue anybody, trample over any man made law, and when you’re done, they can also be target practice. God knows I love ‘em, no really, I do.

Hey, you’ve been a great sport, so I’ll let you in on a little secret…God and I, well we’re sorta two sides of the same coin…a Ying and Yang, if you will, so in essence, in my providing a sign of my own existence, also provides a sign of his as neither he nor I could exist without the other. We’re not really GOOD or BAD, we’re just fulfilling part of the program, balancing each other and keeping the universe in harmony.

Demonically yours,

El Diablo

P.S. Yes, I loved Al Pacino in that movie, though I liked him better as the God father…plus Charlize was simply scrumptous. The only part I didn’t like is the fact they made Keanu my son. I mean, come on…I’m the Lord of the Underworld, do you really think my only begotten son would look so goofy? Again, the liberal establishment making me look bad. Sigh, when will they learn.

I had a really great day today! I hope you did too. Who would’a guessed that one of your followers had a great fucking day on 6/6/6. I didn’t go see your movie today, but I heard it’s not very good. Someone should fry for that, you know what I mean? What a bummer. But, on a positive note, there have been a lot of GOOD movies about you. I bet you liked the one where Al Pacino played you, and he was a lawyer? You know, Armani suits and shit. You know, Satan, you’re such a great conversationalist. I feel like I could just go on and on when we’re chatting. You really seem like you would be a good friend, as well as being a great Prince of Darkness. Like, I bet you would drop your busy schedule to help a pal move. I don’t think God has ever done that. I guess Jesus did that kind of stuff though, so you’re still even.

Well, I should be getting to bed. Hope you had fun quail hunting. Happy Birthday buddy.

Plus, I never carry that damn fork everyone keeps pushing on me, I mean, what am I supposed to do with it? It’s not a salad fork, or even good for steak fork so why would I carry such a thing…be practical for “God’s” sake.

Oh, more on the rabbit…I didn’t want you to think that I was unappreciative. I mean, I like rabbits as much as the next guy, but every once in a while I like something a bit more, shall we say palatable. Do not worry though, my not taking your rabbit offering isn’t a reflection on your behavior or presentation, I’m rather quite full, plus me and Dick are going quail hunting!

Thank “God” this day is almost over, not that I take the “lord’s” name in vain…

Signing off,

Lucifer, the Devil.

I mean could you believe the guy “Jesus told me to liberate Iraq!” Here’s a little tip, if you’re hearing God’s voice in your head…guess what…he don’t work that way!! Geez some people never learn…

As for the rabbit, sorry, but I get so many of those this time of year…maybe next time, try a squirrel or something.

Satanically yours,

Well, you know.

Thanks for the message. Does God respond like that to requests for a sign? Hell no!!! (get it – hell – hahahahahahahaha) That’s why I’m you’re girl!!! In response to your message: I don’t mean to be rude, and I hope this isn’t out of bounds, but I didn’t know you were involved with the US government. Are you with the NSA, or do you just have a contract with them? That’s really a brilliant idea. As always, you’re on the cutting edge of technology, and I admire your intuition when it comes to delegating tasks. Keep up the good work, and thanks again for posting!

Have a great Day! You should do it up BIG!
-Meredith

P.S. – Can I just ask why you didn’t take the sacrificial rabbit I left out for you? Was it the presentation?

I think the body i have currently gives me far more room than your dog, but thanks for the offer…I shall remember this. Till then, take care.

Devilishly yours,

Satan

Please show me a sign on this most unholy of days that you truly exist. I’m having my doubts because you didn’t touch the sacrificial rabbit I left on the fireplace last night, and I think you forgot to leave me any presents . . . unless that dead spider on the bathroom floor was from you. Anyway, I guess you still have about another 12 hours, so I’ll keep my fingers crossed. I have two all-black pets, so maybe you could visit me by possessing one of them. I suggest the dog, as she is bigger and you would have more room to stretch out. I’ll just wait patiently for you to stop by. Good luck making your rounds today.

Your faithful servant,
Meredith

Which may be just as well, since I’ve been hearing the Omen remake coming out today is a bust.