12 Rules For Marriage
By Justin Gardner | Related entries in Kitchen SinkWell, we were “reddit’d” today, which means the site has been getting an unprecedented amount of traffic. At last count over 8,000 visitors and the number just keeps climbing. Wow.
And oddly enough it reminded me that sometimes we can lose focus of the day to day stuff. At least I know I can. True, the WOT and the leadership of our country is incredibly important, but if we focus on that alone we begin to lose ourselves in it.
So, now I offer you a post I found over at reddit.com. It’s called 12 Rules For Marriage, and even though I’m not married, it certainly seems like sage advice to me.
A taste:
1. Your world is getting bigger today, not smaller! More history, more friends, more possibilities. Marriage is not the end of the search, it’s the beginning of all the searches that are more fun to do together.2. Be the guardians of each other’s solitudes. Not only do you need to give each other space, you need to make each other space.
3. No difficult conversations after 10pm. Not only is it harder to solve problems when you’re tired, but at least half the time being tired is the problem.
So married people…what are your rules for marriage? I especially want to hear from those of you who’ve been divorced and remarried. Why did it work the second time? Or third?
Be sure to read the whole list…especially #6.
This entry was posted on Thursday, September 7th, 2006 and is filed under Kitchen Sink. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
September 7th, 2006 at 4:47 pm
Love your spouse when he/she is not lovable. You are going to need them to return the favour.
Giggle together.
Someday you are going to realize that you didn’t marry the person you thought you did. Learn to love the person you actually did marry.
September 7th, 2006 at 9:46 pm
Learn to pick your battles. It isn’t necessary to come out the victor in every disagreement. Save your strength for the really important battles: the ones that matter. Some battles that might be winnable aren’t really worth fighting in the first place due to collateral damage.
Cuddle. A lot. My wife and I cuddle before getting up in the morning and before going to sleep at night. It helps somehow.
Play to each others’ strengths. She budgets and pays the bills, and I balance the checkbook. It all meshes.
Merge the checking accounts. Nothing builds unity like a single checking account. Some may disagree, but marriage is a partnership, right?
Control a sharp tongue. Hurtful things said in anger last for a very long time. It is far easier to forgive than to forget. Don’t say it in the first place.
September 7th, 2006 at 10:56 pm
#2 is cribbed, knowingly or not, from Rainer Maria Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet: “the love that consists in this: the two solitudes protect and border and greet each other.” The original is worth reading.
September 8th, 2006 at 9:25 am
A corollary to #7, useful for husbands in the delivery room:
“The doctor may be an expert on expecting mothers, but remember that you’re the expert on *this* expecting mother!”
In general, remember to stand up for each others’ best interests when the other party is unable to, especially in medical situations.
September 8th, 2006 at 11:42 am
Remember that men always have the authority over women, because God has made them superior to the other. Good wives are obedient to their husbands while maintaining public humility. Rebellious and disobedient wives should be admonished and banished from their beds and beaten. Once they obey their husbands again, no further action should be taken.
September 8th, 2006 at 4:39 pm
Allah - Perhaps a bit of christian counterpoint might be in order to respond to your islamic advice. I hope I do not offend.
Husbands must be as Christ for their wives which means that for the obedience that is our due, we must be willing to sacrifice all, to the point of losing our life for our wife. If one is not willing to embrace one’s own duty (to sacrifice all), how can it be just to expect a wife to one sidedly hold to her own duty (to obey)? When you’re willing to be crucified to uphold and protect your wife, I don’t think that her obedience is going to be much of an issue. But how many men deserve to be obeyed?
September 9th, 2006 at 4:53 am
Partnerships require two, not one.
Give before taking.
Listen before talking.
Understand before reacting.