Bill Clinton: ‘Screw It, I’m Running For President’

By Justin Gardner | Related entries in 2008 Election, Billary, Comedy

Snarky fun via The Onion:

CHARLESTON, SC—After spending two months accompanying his wife, Hillary, on the campaign trail, former president Bill Clinton announced Monday that he is joining the 2008 presidential race, saying he “could no longer resist the urge.”

“My fellow Americans, I am sick and tired of not being president,” said Clinton, introducing his wife at a “Hillary ‘08″ rally. “For seven agonizing years, I have sat idly by as others experienced the joys of campaigning, debating, and interacting with the people of this great nation, and I simply cannot take it anymore. I have to be president again. I have to.”

He continued, “It is with a great sense of relief that I say to all of you today, ‘Screw it. I’m in.’”

It’s funny cause it’s true…

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008 and is filed under 2008 Election, Billary, Comedy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “Bill Clinton: ‘Screw It, I’m Running For President’”

  1. Robert Campbell Says:

    If Bill becomes First Lady, can they keep him away from the interns?

  2. John Locke Says:

    The last thing this country needs is another Clinton in the White House. They had their chance and all Americans can ask: “Was I better off after they left office than before they came?” The only “change” we can expect with Billary is after National Health Care (YOU, the TAXPAYER will pay for it!) - is CHANGE IN YOUR POCKETS! There may not be much left after they run their course……AGAIN!!! Americans need to see past the hype and theatrical performances and look at really who they are electing next to run this country.

  3. gerryf Says:

    Surely, you cannot be serious….99% of the country would have to answer YES to “Was I better off after they left office than before they came?”

    8 years of unprecedented growth WITH budget surpluses.

    By contrast, we’ve had 8 years of marginal growth, only the wealthy doing better, ridiculous spending.

    I don’t even like Clinton, and won’t even give him credit for the economic growth that came under his watch, but you are deluding yourself if you think Bush has been better for the economy. He cannot even balance the budget with the Iraq War not being included in the budget.

    You’re simply insane….

  4. TerenceC Says:

    I don’t disagree with national healthcare - in fact I think it’s a great idea. Billary failed in that persuit, they failed in welfare reform (it pains me to say thankyou Newt), they failed with balancing the budget, and the great economy was brought about by a surging Internet bubble, the end of the cold war, cheap money (coming back to bite us all in the butt now), and maybe baby boomers investing for the future too. Bill Clinton probably wouldn have never been elected if Ross Perot hadn’t run. A trained monkey would have looked good in the White House in the 90’s, and I don’t think a monkey would have been impeached. It wasn’t the Clintons, it was the 90’s and a Republican Congress elected on the contract with America - what’s the matter with people? We have a case of national adult add.

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