The Hero and the Queen of Darkness - A Super Tuesday Fairy Tale
By mw | Related entries in 2008 Election, Barack, Democrats, Hillary
Long had the House of Clinton practiced the ancient arts, honed their dark craft and schooled in the political weirding way. Long had the Lord King Clinton ruled over the Land of the Dems and held the people entranced under a spell of power and guile.
“Behold your Queen” King Clinton exclaimed “For I am passing my power to her and she shall rule over you as did I. Accept her and love her as you loved me.” And the Dems were afraid and did bow before them.
The children of the Dems flocked to the hero Obama and said “You must free us from this curse!” and so he went forth to battle the Queen of the Hill. And it came to pass that the great hero broke the spell and set free the serfs of Iowa and Carolina. The peasants pledged fealty to the hero and said “We will be your army, and we will be called the Obamites.”
And the scribes and town criers sang his praises and told of his great deeds and of his victory and prophesied the death of the dark Queen until the day came that she cried out in anguish and defeat. But the King unleashed powerful wizards of special interest and once again cast his spell on the people of the Hampshires and Nevada and Lo! The people saw the Queen was not dead.
And the King and Queen forged an alliance with the mysterious undead armies of Michigan and Florida and marched across the land to battle the Obamites. So the hero Obama sought counsel from the old wise men of Camelot and asked “How do I kill this witch queen?” And they said, “We will help you but heed our warning - Do not gaze upon her visage for she will turn you to stone.”
That very day, in the hall of power the Queen found and reached for the hero and he turned away lest he be turned to stone, and she exclaimed - “I reached out to him and I am still reaching out.” And the people wondered if he was weak in spirit. And now the battle has been joined again and rages across the land, and none dare predict the final outcome.
The armies will meet in the land of of the West, before the Mountains of Color in a place called Denver. The King and Queen of the Hill have chosen the ground for the battle and lay in wait for the hero. The army of the Obamites will push back the forces of the House of Clinton, but their victory will be an illusion. The old King will call to the heavens and the God-Delegates of super power will fall upon the Obamites with a fury. Betrayed by the delegates who were not bound, ambushed by the delegates who have no seat, the hero will be brought down. When the battle is done, the Queen of the Hill will stand victorious astride her vanquished foe, bloodied, bruised, pantsuit ripped, with sharpened heel buried deep in the hero Obama’s lifeless chest. But in her moment of triumph, she will look across the land and see that all is not well in the land of the Dems.
A Multitude of Obamites with malice in their eyes and hatred in their hearts will surround the Queen of the Hill and fill the air with cries, lamentations, rending of garments and gnashing of teeth for the fallen idol. And the dark Queen, the greatest savant of the great House of Clinton Political Mentats and Sorcerers will triangulate the complex political calculus and understand the need for Obamite acolytes to carry her on the long road ahead. Kneeling she will breathe life into the fallen hero and say “Rise Obama!, for you will walk with me to the promised land as my second - and bring your naive unwashed hordes with you. I will teach you the political weirding way.” And there will be great wonder and rejoicing in the land of the Dems.
x-posted from “Divided We Stand United We Fall“
(Promoted again by Justin)
This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 6th, 2008 and is filed under 2008 Election, Barack, Democrats, Hillary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
February 5th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Don’t get your underwear in a bunch, just having some fun with this.
Perhaps I should distill the point of this post into more succinct language:
I’m guessing that Clinton realpolitik gamesmanship will out over the Obama supporter’s passionate idealism, but it will continue to be a WWF Battle Royale until the convention.
The more bitter, the more heated, the more personal and nasty the Clinton/Obama steel cage match becomes - the more likely they wind up tag-teaming on the same ticket to go after the Republicans. When Clinton wins, she’ll understand that the only way to bring the oh-so-bitter Obama constituency (poor babies) along is to put him on the ticket. Her ambition will trump their animosity. With that ticket, the Dems have the best chance to win and probably will.
I think it is the best for Obama too. After 8 years as VP, the experience issuegoes away, and the Presidency is his by acclamation. We probably won’t even bother with an election. The country gets 16 years of Democrats in the White House. You can decide for yourself if that is a good thing. Personally, I don’t mind, as long as the Dems don’t hold both houses of Congress. I no longer see any way to avoid that for the next two years, but the Republicans will have a reasonable chance to retake the Senate in 2010.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Fantastic story. however, it has been revealed that the dream of the soothsayer was induced by a potion secretly instilled in a goblet of mead and imbibed unawares. In truth, the wizards of Camelot and their allies have railed the heavens and held their counsel in secret with the delegates unbound. As the dark queen stands against her foe, the great council of the gods will make their stance. Lo, they will cry! The realm is in peril and only the great knight can save us.’ In their wisdom they will decree the rule of the Clintons undone. They will pave the road for a new and shining kingdom, free from the guile and dark power of the old realm. And the people will rejoice, and live happily ever after…..
February 5th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
At what surgical institute did Hillary go under the knife? YOWZA!!!
as an aside, for a black man Obama’s sword is pretty small… I’m just sayin.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Rob, Looks like Barack’s been working out to. I hope he is not taking steroids.
February 5th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Well his performance has been improving throughout the primaries… omg… alert George Mitchell!!!
February 5th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Rob, it took me a good three or four seconds to realize that thing in Obama’s hand HAS A HILT!!! :D
P.S. Okay, and now my reCaptcha code words/phrase to get past the spam blockers is:
“illiteracy the”
Don’tcha just love irony?
February 5th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Katharine,
What? I do not recall shooting an alternate ending to this movie. I’m sorry, but we’ll just have to save that for the “extras” disk in the DVD edition.
BTW - I have noticed that colors are a whole lot more vibrant since imbibing that mead. And I just don’t know what to make of that six foot lizard in the corner watching me and taking notes.
February 5th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Ah, the dreaded six foot lizard, that fabled dragon of the ancient lore- Beware the notes! They are likely to show up in Lady Dowd’s column on Sunday. :)
February 6th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
The dark Queen will have no use for the hero or his following. They will recess into their urban hovels and dorm rooms; being tempered in defeat, the passion will dissipate as quickly as it came. When the hero is dead, there will be no circling, no hordes of revolutionaries at the gate…a sullen depression and fear will set in. Perhaps the Queen will make calculated overtures to the Unwashed, but in spirit she will have moved on to the next battle.
For the hero has made a Mistake and that was a guarantee of his support for the Victor (which he has deemed a political necessity); it only served to broadcast his weakness. He has tethered himself to the very machine that will destroy him. He fell directly into the ploy of the Dark Queen. She attacked him (all but spitting in his face) and made him respond by giving unconditional support of the Dem nominee.
The hero has to win or he’s just another dead hero.
February 6th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Dos, katherine,
Time will tell - who is the greater sayer of sooths.
fyi, I have recently replenished my stock of “I told you so’s” and have them loaded and ready. I also renew my request to our Donklephant Overlord, for an “I told you so” tag.
February 10th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Oh no, oh no, oh no.
“…Instead of a dark king, they will have a queen. They will all love me and despair…”
or so said Galadriel, when Frodo offered her the ring of power..
Oh no no.
(PS: Thanks for the link!)
February 17th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Euroview,
I cannot resist.
A year ago I used that exact line in similarly fantasy inspired post, but it was Galadriel Pelosi that was offered the ring of power By Frodo Hastert.
Unfortunately, it did not end as well as in Lord of the Rings: