– a ribbon of vanilla

– a ribbon of caramel

– chunks of cookie dough

Ronald Raisin:
Rum Raisin ice cream with

– chunks of Chunky candy bars

– a ribbon of vanilla

– blue M&M’s (he only missed Minnesota)

L-P-B-J:
Peanut Butter Ice Cream with

– Vanilla/Chocolate holding hands

– a swirl of Butter Pecan Ice Cream

– LBJ sprinkles

Bull-Mousse:
Dark Chocolate Mousse Ice Cream with

– A swirl of green (mint chocolate chip)

– A latin twist (churro pieces)

– A salty ocean voyage (chocolate pretzel chunks)

Carter’s World Peace-cicle
- Orange Sherbert
- Vanilla swirl
- Oatmeal (try it, its pretty good)
- Malt

FDR’s New Deal
- Vanilla Ice cream
- Chocolate chips
- bread (ever try french fries and ice cream?)

Nixon’s Bridge to China
- Bits of Lychee
- Vanilla Ice cream
- Chocolate syrup

JFK’s Inspirational German Jellydonut
- Vanilla
- Grape Jelly
- bread
- Sprinkling of German Chocolate

A reminder of the path he set this country on almost 30 years ago commemorated by a bowl of a delightful blend of two unbalanced scoops of low-fat red white and blue diet ice cream representing the unbalanced budget he left behind in addition to the patriotism he espoused as well as the diet he pretended to put the federal government on. Emdedded in the ice cream are bitter coffee jelly beans for the aftertaste he still leaves in the mouth of liberals and those who resented his policies. Add a dollup of whipped cream with little candy stars for the fantasy of his conservative legacy, which is mostly air when held up against the truth of history, and as a reminder of his penchant for consulting astrologers. And finally, it’s served with a spork so the user can rationalize it is really a sppon, just like Reagan’s rationalizations that he never traded arms for hostages.

George W. Bush – “ICMD (Ice Cream of Mass Destruction)”
Tell a friend you made them an ice cream cone, and you know it’s there somewhere. Pretend to look all over for it until their entire home is destroyed, then hire a friend to rebuildl at an inflated price. When that’s done, sit down in secret and eat the cone you said you made for them.

John F. Kennedy – “Grassy Noll Crunch”
Pistachio ice cream with Pistachio pieces, served in the end of a gun barrel.

Harry Truman – “Nagasaki Nougat”
Chocolate and caramel swirl in a sugar cone, placed on a map of Japan.

Dan Quayle – “Potatoe Bland”
Vanilla soft serve in a warm dish. (most soft serve ice creams are made from potatoes.) I know. Vice presidents don’t count.

Ulysses S Grant – “Secession Blend”
A scoop of chocolate next to a Scoop of Vanilla in fancy china, covered in bourbon syrup, sprinkled with peanuts, served with a shot of bourbon.

John Adams – “Bitter ’till the end”
Neapolitan ice cream with sour gummy bears mixed in.

John Quincy Adams – “Coattail Delight”
Same as above only with regular gummy bears mixed in.

Thomas Jefferson – “Illegitimacone”
Chocolate and Vanilla ice cream blended thoroughly until a light brown color. Serve in a waffle cone and don’t tell anybody if you don’t have to.

Jefferson’s “Tastes Like Independence” IceCream:
caramel ice cream with pecans and a caramel ribbon.

At first I was thinking “Lyndon Johnson’s Spicy Horseradish Cream” would be worth a try, but I feel that Polk’s Mintyfest Destiny is slightly more appealing.

Divided Government Swirl:

Fill the cone with half Strawberry Red and half Blueberry Blue ice cream swirled together to produce a yin-yang effect at the top of the cone. Top with a elephant shape and donkey shape candy confection.

Two strong American flavors that are even better together.

Dark chocolate bits in an Orange Creamsicle ice cream flavor. Simple, not what you’d expect, but a winning combination.

Ronald Reagan’s Iran-Contra Crunch
– Tastes awful.

Creamy vanilla ice cream flavored with honey and almonds.

Covered completely in chocolate syrup so you can’t see the colors.

McCain’s Old Fashioned Flubber

Soft plain frozen yogurt, covered in raisin bran, and recycled bits of left over candy (depends on the day).

Obama’s Lofty Ice Cream Fluff

A “light as feather” mocha foam ice cream, topped with marshmallow fluff, and a sophisticated red wine cotton candy.

Sorry…couldn’t help myself…