Gay Marriage IS an Important Issue
By Dennis Sanders | Related entries in Bad Decisions, Dumb Things Said By Smart PeopleWith no big surprise, the Senate rejected cloture on a vote for a constitutional amendment to ban same sex marriage. During this whole debate, I keep hearing people who are against the ban that this is a distracting issue and that government should focus on more important issues like immigration or health care.
I’d like to set things straight (no pun intended): banning gay marriage can be a distracting issue, but the issue itself is not. This is a REAL issue for those of us who are gay and either have or plan to have significant others. Listen to the story of a same sex couple living in Minneapolis:
In the spring of 2002 we experienced a life changing event that made us realize just how many rights and privileges we were denied as a gay couple unable to marry – the same rights and privileges that some married straight couples take for granted.
I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance and admitted with an extremely high fever and difficulty breathing. While the doctors and nurses were working with me, Jim stayed at my side answering the same question, “And who are you?” Over and over Jim explained that he was my partner and yes, we did have the power of attorney and health care directive that permitted him to be there and to make decisions regarding my health care. If we had not signed those papers just 2 weeks prior to my admission, he might have been prevented from being with me as I fought to live. As it turned out, I was diagnosed with pneumocystis pneumonia and AIDS. This was only the beginning of a long struggle to regain my health.
Since that time, we have done a lot of research into the marriage benefits we don’t have and how it affects us now that my health is such a large issue. Things like hospital visitation are covered with the health care directive and power of attorney as long as the health care facility has a copy of the paperwork.
If I need to quit my full-time job at DHS, I would not be able to get health care through my partner’s employer, also DHS. Neither of us would receive the retirement or death benefits spouses normally receive. If I needed nursing home care, the house we own together could be taken from Jim to pay for my nursing home care. If I die, Jim would not be able to claim my body from the morgue and my family would have the right to contest my will and try to claim my property because Jim is not “next of kin”.
I repeat: for gay people, this isn’t a distracting issue. It’s about life and death.
So to all my fellow bloggers and others: please stop saying things like, “let’s focus on other issues.” Because for people like me this is an important issue.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 7th, 2006 and is filed under Bad Decisions, Dumb Things Said By Smart People. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
June 7th, 2006 at 9:35 pm
It’s an important issue to me too.
I believe gay unions will eventually be accepted – I think it’s just going to take more time. It’s amazing what the gay community has accomplished just in the last several decades – more are coming out earlier, fewer are trying to live in the closet, etc. For me personally, this issue won’t be pushed to the side. It’ll be a lifelong effort – to educated the ignorant and right this wrong. I’ll continue to donate money to organizations I believe can help. I will ridicule homophobic behavior/speech. My future kids will not understand homophobia.
This is what I’m doing and will continue to do.
June 8th, 2006 at 12:31 am
Agreed.
June 8th, 2006 at 8:08 am
I’d like to set things straight (no pun intended): banning gay marriage can be a distracting issue, but the issue itself is not.
My guess is that we wouldn’t have been hearing much of the “distraction” meme regarding gay marriage if the nation wasn’t at war. (Speaking of which, I’m pleased to relay the news that we finally got Abu Musab al-Zarqawi).
That said, it’s a relief to see that the anti-gay marriage movement is starting to run out of steam. It may have helped get President Bush re-elected in 2004, but methinks the GOP has gone to this particular well one too many times.
June 8th, 2006 at 2:24 pm
Dennis,
Those were my thoughts exactly when people said it wasn’t an important issue. I know a LOT of gay couples, and I am all too aware of how destructive that ban would have been to their lives had it passed. I have one friend whose partner is here on a work visa from another country. If they have no way to marry, and he can’t get citizenship in time (he’s been trying for years and it’s still probably a long way off), they will be separated – maybe for good. It’s very sad because my friend has been searching for the right man for years just like I have been. Now that he is in love, and he has found “the one,” that person might be ripped from him one day. I’ve found my “one” too, and I can’t imagine how painful it would be if he were sent away, and there was nothing I could do.
Anyway, it just seems ridiculous to me that given our country’s history, we continue to deprive certain groups of people of the rights that every other human being in the country enjoys just because they are different and somehow scary and threatening. It’s embarassing.
June 8th, 2006 at 4:25 pm
Trying to protect the sanctity of marriage is not an issue the government should be focused on right now. It’s only aimed to create a political circus show.
June 9th, 2006 at 2:25 pm
All politics is local, and that may include local to blogs.
I’m not going to claim to speak for anyone else who says this is a distracting issue, but I can say that when I’m inclined to argue that it is, it’s slightly partly when I’m afraid that a ban just… might… pass.
If the time comes when I’m inclined to say it’s important, it’s slightly partly because I think it’ll tip the other way.
Just a thought.
June 9th, 2006 at 9:45 pm
Yes thanks for your honesty. That is very refreshing on the net these days.
G
June 13th, 2006 at 6:59 am
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